Updates at the bottom.
I'm very sick, I have been for about a year and a half to two years now. I haven't been able to do anything about it because of an insurance accident that happened in December 2017. I believe I have bronchitis, some signs also point to walking pneumonia or mold in my lung. But the first wouldn't last this long, and I don't think the second would cause my nose to clog and my throat to rasp like it dies. My lungs keep filling up with mucous, and during cold and/or dry days and seasons I produce a lot of it. It clogs up my lungs, my nose, and makes a very bad rasp in my throat that keeps me up at night. I had a big scare about 3-4 months ago where my lungs had filled up so badly that I could only take very short breaths for 3 days as I coughed it all out. The first day was the worst, it felt like if I didn't suffocate my ribs would crush my right lung. I haven't had a good night's sleep since last November.
I haven't gone to the doctor's for two reason. First, my original insurance expired in December 2017. The expiration dates were mixed up, one said the 27th the other said the 8th, I went to see a doctor after the 8th for a blood test. They found nothing. The insurance did not pay the bill because the official day turned out to be the 8th. So I've owed a 600+$ bill to them ever since and can't pay it off. I haven't had insurance ever since, at the time I couldn't afford it, now I can and applied for it recently. It just passed as of late last month. But I still cannot see a doctor till the bill's paid off. I know some medical offices allow patients in whether or not they owe a bill, but it doesn't change I have to pay it off and don't want to accrue more debt. You're probably also wondering why I didn't go before that Winter, it's because whatever this is is unnoticeable during humid times of the year usually. Then during dry times it feels like I have a cold, but no fever. So I didn't think anything of it.
On top of my godbrother trying to kill himself (and nearly succeeding recently), my closest cousin in and out of the hospital, and my friends in trouble, it's been very hard to keep positive. My computer is also starting to break down, and I can't afford a backup or replacement parts. If that goes, that's it, I'm done. And in a year I'll have to start paying off my student loans on top of my bills and rent I share with my mother.
I need help.
I didn't want to write this because I didn't want to pander or pan handle, but I need to be realistic. I was also trying to wait till I finished my backup work, which I am doing, but I shouldn't wait because of that. It's just me feeling I'm not worth the help because I haven't been faithful to my patrons. I have used the past week and a half to catch up with work and still am, but I can't go at this pace anymore in my condition. What got me to really realize I needed to start asking was when my mom started to come home from her rough job more and more tired, and angry, and aching. And every week I say "I'm making more then I was" which it looks like till I eventually break even. I've been stagnant on income for 6 months.
I haven't been able to work as well as I should be since I can't sleep right. I'm constantly lethargic. When I get sleepy, I lie down, toss and cough while sleeping for 3-4 hours, then spend 15 minutes to half an hour choking and coughing up what's been lodged in my lung then am up again. If I try to go back to sleep after that I can't because the rasp keeps me awake, meaning I have to stay up no matter how long I actually got rest; eating, drinking, and coughing till the rasp goes away. I also get mucous film over my eyes often while working on PC. My head is always foggy from lack of proper sleep.
I don't gain any traction. I don't spread anywhere. After the Tumblr purge, I packed up and went to Twitter instead and I decided to really examine view rates, like rates, patreon fluctuations, what is or isn't popular. I make very slow to no gains and I have little idea why. I do also own a Furaffinity account, but I don't like posting there unless it's of a furry or semi-furry piece. Also posting takes out a lot of time between multiple sites I should be spending working. Even when I draw popular characters it does do a little, but then peters off quickly. Am I boring? Is my subject matter not good enough? Are my poses not dynamic enough or scenes interesting enough? Am I just not good enough to be noticed? Is it because I don't talk to people that much? Is my style unlikable? Do I not advertise enough? Am I bad at communicating? Is my personality off-putting? Are my ideas just not profitable?
The following people I will not mention by name but I will by comparison. I am in no way knocking or mocking them, but seeing the contrast makes me feel so useless in a social forum. From when I joined Twitter on Jan 1st to now I've gained about 750 followers, nearly no changes to my patreon. I've found that some artists of similar caliber to me joined fairly recently, one who has 8000s after joining mid November. Then a friend of mine recently made a patreon account not 3 weeks ago and is already making about exactly as much as me.
Again I am not knocking these people. Sometimes you have to compare yourself to your contemporaries to see how well you are doing. I am saying out of a purely business perspective I must be either really worthless to the market, or out of touch. That the demand for what I think and what I make have little value, not no value, I'm not berating myself. But little value. My patreon income has stayed the same for 6-7 months, nearly on the dollar for the past 3. My commissions have been fine, but that's not income I can entirely count on. If I get a dry season and I base my work entirely by commission I'd be long gone.
What do you all want me to do? Think I should do? What do you all want from me? I'm not asking like a selfish crying baby, woe is me, I'm genuinely asking. Should I draw more popular characters? Should I draw actual sex rather than just smut? I especially want to hear from my high viewership/high money making artists friends. Of which I only have a few. What is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? Are there any places you think I could get more traction? I've barely ever deleted a piece from my gallery, people can see my growth and change and how much I can work. I do the work!
I need to know and I've been very scared of choking in my sleep from whatever I'm sick with. I really don't want to die and leave my mom with my debt. I am willing to do the work, and will be quite able to when I get better and get this PC fixed or replaced.
I am not willing to sell my integrity, but I am willing to break even. I refuse to draw violence and uncaring people. And I don't want to draw sexual scenes, but I am willing if it means I get to live and eat and pay off my bills and loans. I'll have no choice in the matter in a year's time anyway if I'm not hospitalized or my computer dies by then.
I didn't want to get too into my personal feelings on this matter or I feel I would be pandering far too much, but it's not fair. My current situation is very unfair. Tough shit though, life is fucking unfair. A man can spend his entire life doing good for others and still die like a dog before he's even old, as the war term goes.
I've been on DA for 9 years going on 10, I work a lot more and harder than most people have in that time and never broke 1 million. When I see people coming in and doing that within 3-4 years. What do I do wrong?
You're also probably wondering why I don't get a working real life job. On top of my artwork for one thing, I couldn't. I am using this year to really make this into a full time job. Also I have no car, transportation is far, and jobs are scarce in my area, as well as low wage. It's either this or work for nearly nothing till my mom passes then I go too while paying off my loans till I croak. I'm betting my chances on what I have the skill for, that I and the money I make can improve from. No hyperbole, just realism.
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In Conclusion, I really need help. I'll only speak from a business perspective from here on.
Again I am completely willing and will be able to do the work I can pace myself for once I'm better and my computer is repaired/replaced.
To save time and from now on No more complex backgrounds, simple only.
I have not and cannot keep up with my work flow the way things are. My patreon needs restructuring too to accommodate this. Not a lot of people join my 6$+ voting tier, which means the work I do on the series is not worth the money I make from it. I usually have 12-14 members in that tier, logically that means I make around 70$ from that which is worth an image and a half from me. That's on top of them already getting access to my NSFW art. But I still make 3-5 images, plus a title card. I am working far too much for that tier and from now on will lower how many images I make for it. I do get views from them, but barely any newcomers. I will free this up for other work.
From now on, my 6+$ series will be limited. I will still do the voting once a month which will have me making 1 macro image for the character voted for. For every 10 people in the 6$ tier I will add another image to that month's series to a maximum of 5 at 50+ 6$ patrons if I reach that many.
I have recently started doing weekly polls on my Twitter where I ask what characters people want me to make a pic of for practice before I get to my main work load every week. These have slowly become pics of the week as well and have been a sort of replacement already for my series that I can do quickly.
You can join me there and apply to polls as well. I will leave links below. I have also started to post my adult pieces from Patreon to Twitter. I will only do this for pieces that are a year old or older, and not all of them, otherwise this defeats the purpose of me having a patreon.
I have opened up a ko-fi to accrue donations if people don't want to or can't patron to me.
After the patreon scare a few weeks ago I am also planning to open a Subscribestar, the last thing I need when I get better is to have my patreon up and disappear for whatever reason, as the CEO has come out and said their model is unsustainable despite growth.
Please consider patroning to me there and seeing my NSFW art, what I really need is long term support.:
You can watch me draw and sometimes watch old anime with my viewers here:
picarto.tv/Juacamo
If I can start making more that I can live off of, have a steadier workflow worth the amount I make, and after I get better, I could get back to making my RPG/Gay Dating Sim.
I should be finished up with backlog work by the end of the month. I have: 4 patron sketches left, the final part of the Knuckles series, and the 3 parts of the Dally series to do before the 8th of March.
Hope you're all good out there, hope I'll be good too, thanks for at least listening if you can't help.
Update:
I'm very thankful for everyone's support from just the past day since I posted this. I'm waiting a few days to take in everyone's advice. And thank you all for considering me especially for commission, but I really need long term help from my patreon and Subscribestar when I make it after I get better.. If I get swamped in commissions without long term help I'll still be in a bad spot monetarily as my workflow slows down.
I also asked and a few of you said that you'd be willing to pay more on my patron even. So I am considering two new tiers and maybe one day increasing the prices I have. Also considering two new tiers. The first a 12$ one, but I'm not sure of what, I need something with high incentive. The second a 40-50$ one for exclusively 1-2 people to get a flat color to full colored piece from me every month guaranteed. If I'm lowering how many pics I make for my series, making them all NSFW only, then I can definitely achieve that.
, an artist I recently discovered while trying to decipher the canon of the SCP Foundation.